Are You In It for the Journey or the Race?

When you think about safety in relationships, do you consider the idea of commitment? A relationship with a commitment to safety is where both partners invest in their future together and are in it for the journey, not just the race.

If you’re unsure, consider these questions. When discussing the future, is anyone hesitant to engage? Do arguments leave anyone questioning the stability of the relationship? Does anyone threaten to leave the relationship?

Relationships without a commitment to safety create an environment of uncertainty, fear, distrust, and sometimes manipulation. Partners should be comfortable knowing they are both working hard to be together for the long runThey should not worry about whether their partner will be home when they return or if the partner could be tempted to go where the grass is greener.

If your relationship doesn’t have commitment safety, there’s a few ways to build it. Be vulnerable with each other, so you both know feelings are genuine. Provide each other with validation and acknowledgement of feelings because everyone deserves to feel heard. Reinforce you all are committed to working through your issues and emphasize your love for each other. No one should feel judged, attacked, or put down, so avoid name-calling, blaming, or criticizing.

 Maintaining safety in your relationship is a shared responsibility. If you both have the vision of growing old together, creating memories, and having adventures together, you must put in the work. And that work is never done. There will be challenges and obstacles. How you navigate them will determine if this is a journey together or a race to the end.

The Family Advocacy Program (FAP) is committed to fostering strong and meaningful relationships. Reach out to your local FAP office if you need support or know someone who does.